Honestly...my life is just too leisurely and stress free at the moment. I am probably jinxing myself by saying that and some big ugly ghost from the Pac Man game will jump out to try to eat me in like 5 minutes, but who cares?
I seriously need to get back to work and add some stress to my life or something. This feeling has been confirmed by the fact that according to Billy, my Dad is asking him when i am going to go back to work. Oh dear...i am dangerously close to getting a disapproval ranking from my Dad. Not good. As soon as the school holidays are over...it is job hunting time.
September 30, 2009
Billy Update
Billy, my baby sister Kari, and my nephew Zeke on a trip to Seattle last weekend.
Just got these gorgeous photos from my Billy. He spent last weekend attending a wedding in Seattle with friends and family. I am so jealous of him. He went to the Zoo, Aquarium, to the top of the Space Needle, the list went on and on...not sure how he fit a wedding in, but he had a blast.
I miss him so much. I wish i was there.
Jeepers, i produce good looking kids, if i do say so myself!
Jingle Bells
OH MY GOD...
Now that kid is playing Jingle bells but SOMEHOW he is making it sound like Mary Had a Little Lamb!!!!
Help Meeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Now that kid is playing Jingle bells but SOMEHOW he is making it sound like Mary Had a Little Lamb!!!!
Help Meeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Tsunami warning issued for NZ - Yahoo!Xtra News
Tsunami warning issued for NZ - Yahoo!Xtra News
uh oh...the girls and i are in trouble. I have no petrol til tomorrow. lol
I just laughed with the girls and said ...brace yourself for tsunami cause we have no petrol!!! Nicole scowled...and said " we have no petrol??? stink!!!"
I laughed at her and said...what do we need petrol for today? We are not going anywhere...
and her reply was...."we are if there is a TSUNAMI!!!!"
Yeah...we are going for a nice long swim. haha
We just ate pancakes ala Sperling...pancakes covered in peanut butter and then drowned in maple syrup. SOMEONE needs to go for a walk now.
uh oh...the girls and i are in trouble. I have no petrol til tomorrow. lol
I just laughed with the girls and said ...brace yourself for tsunami cause we have no petrol!!! Nicole scowled...and said " we have no petrol??? stink!!!"
I laughed at her and said...what do we need petrol for today? We are not going anywhere...
and her reply was...."we are if there is a TSUNAMI!!!!"
Yeah...we are going for a nice long swim. haha
We just ate pancakes ala Sperling...pancakes covered in peanut butter and then drowned in maple syrup. SOMEONE needs to go for a walk now.
September 29, 2009
Big Day Out line-up announced - Yahoo!Xtra News
Big Day Out line-up announced - Yahoo!Xtra News
I am taking my girls to this. I have never been to a Big Day Out and i am going to take my girls to this since we missed out on The Black Eyed Peas because they sold out...and since no one is offereing donations for AC/DC!!!!
Donations now being accepted for BDO tickets. Please support the cause.
I hope someone takes this seriously.
I am taking my girls to this. I have never been to a Big Day Out and i am going to take my girls to this since we missed out on The Black Eyed Peas because they sold out...and since no one is offereing donations for AC/DC!!!!
Donations now being accepted for BDO tickets. Please support the cause.
I hope someone takes this seriously.
oh...and did i mention ARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!
M A R Y
H A D
A
L I T T L E
L A M B !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
H A D
A
L I T T L E
L A M B !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thunderstruck...
No i am not hinting at AC/DC ticket donations! ummmm yeah...how 'bout this weather? I LOVE it! Thunder and lightening reminds me of home.
They have the meanest electrical storms at the lake cabin in Idaho. When my grandparents bought the cabin in 1954, it was only a small one bedroom cabin with no indoor plumbing.
Now it has three bedrooms, lounge, separate dining room, fireplace, big kitchen...AND an INDOOR toilet! Also added to the outside is gorgeous decking and a garden shed. (yay for the indoor toilet...that walk to the outhouse in the middle of the night was scary) ...that is all thanks to the electrical storms that they get there and the insurance that paid out every time lightening struck a tree and fell on it, over the years. This is a true story.
They have the meanest electrical storms at the lake cabin in Idaho. When my grandparents bought the cabin in 1954, it was only a small one bedroom cabin with no indoor plumbing.
Now it has three bedrooms, lounge, separate dining room, fireplace, big kitchen...AND an INDOOR toilet! Also added to the outside is gorgeous decking and a garden shed. (yay for the indoor toilet...that walk to the outhouse in the middle of the night was scary) ...that is all thanks to the electrical storms that they get there and the insurance that paid out every time lightening struck a tree and fell on it, over the years. This is a true story.
The City Addicted to Crystal Meth - Louis Theroux
Visit documentary-log.com for free online documentaries!
This is really worth a watch. I am watching it for the second time this morning. The interview with the lady that runs the rehab facility is really interesting. What she says about why the men and women are segregated is so true. They need different forms of treatment because they are there for different reasons and need different skills once they leave.
Men know their enemies...they are the gangs, police, whatever...Women don't know their enemies or who is trying to hurt them because their enemies are the people that are telling them that they love them. Relationships are what damage the women.
I found those comments interesting and so true. Anyway...definitely worth a watch.
September 28, 2009
I don't hate my life anymore...
For so long my favourite saying was "i hate my life" ...seriously...i have always muttered that sentence to myself, about ten times a day even before these last couple of years. I remember one of the first sentences that Billy managed to put together was...
I can't remember the last time i said it now. I know i have not said that sentence since i have lived in my new place. Even during the times that are hard for me...times when i am hurt, scared, frustrated, angry, sad, etc i have never once thought it or said it to myself since i moved.
I love my life....very much so now. I am so very fortunate to be where i am today.
I still struggle with things sometimes. I still make mistakes and i learn from them. I don't always know what the right thing to do in some situations is. Not everything is always black and white.
Without all those experiences...good and bad, i would not be me and i would not have my story to tell. It would be a different story and not mine.
This is my life and what has happened to me. My mistakes and wrongs are out there for the world to see. I want to show exactly what that drug does to people. Never do anything that you would not want on the front page of the newspaper.That is now, how i live my life. It is a good feeling.
I have had a great day with my daughter. I love my life.
Goodnight.
x
i hate my yifeI was gutted when he said that as a two year old, when he fell off his push and go toy. Not enough to make me stop saying it though. Not enough to change in order to be happy and love myself and my life.
I can't remember the last time i said it now. I know i have not said that sentence since i have lived in my new place. Even during the times that are hard for me...times when i am hurt, scared, frustrated, angry, sad, etc i have never once thought it or said it to myself since i moved.
I love my life....very much so now. I am so very fortunate to be where i am today.
I still struggle with things sometimes. I still make mistakes and i learn from them. I don't always know what the right thing to do in some situations is. Not everything is always black and white.
Without all those experiences...good and bad, i would not be me and i would not have my story to tell. It would be a different story and not mine.
This is my life and what has happened to me. My mistakes and wrongs are out there for the world to see. I want to show exactly what that drug does to people. Never do anything that you would not want on the front page of the newspaper.That is now, how i live my life. It is a good feeling.
I have had a great day with my daughter. I love my life.
Goodnight.
x
Sometimes i wonder if it will ever all be over...

Sometimes i feel like I am a character in a video game...like pac man...running around in a maze trying to eat the ghosts before they eat me.
I don't mind. I know that i just have to keep chasing them and eating them up and sooner or later it will be GAME OVER. I know i have already won the game though...maybe that is why it's no longer fun. Crash Bandicoot was not fun once i had gone through all the levels and kicked ass, and won either.
May you always have
Enough happiness to keep you sweet
Enough trials to keep you strong
Enough success to keep you eager
Enough faith to give you courage
and enough determination to make
each day a good day.
Nicole is so addicted to Outrageous Fortune
That she has been up ALL night watching it on ,my lovely big new TV that goes way too loud for this little place!
I did manage to sleep through Romeo and Juliet though ...Jorgia enjoyed it. I had told her about Romeo and Juliet when she asked who they were after listening to the Dire Straits song. That song is one of my favourites.
She had been asking to see the movie for weeks now so we watched the old version from 1968. Well...she did.
Jorgia said something really lovely to me last night. She said
I am actually disturbed by comments left on my blog this morning. Not in an ...i think anyone will believe them....way. I am disturbed by them in a ...this is the kind of person that i used to have in my life...kind of way....and ....this is how paranoid and insane P makes people ...way.
I am turning the ability to comment on my blog off.
Back to sleep time for me.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I did manage to sleep through Romeo and Juliet though ...Jorgia enjoyed it. I had told her about Romeo and Juliet when she asked who they were after listening to the Dire Straits song. That song is one of my favourites.
She had been asking to see the movie for weeks now so we watched the old version from 1968. Well...she did.
Jorgia said something really lovely to me last night. She said
"mum, every time dad makes me mad, i just think about how he helped save your life ...and that stops me being mad at him"Gosh...i am so lucky to have my Jorgie...and Nicole...but Nicole bosses me around. Jorgia is sweet. haha
I am actually disturbed by comments left on my blog this morning. Not in an ...i think anyone will believe them....way. I am disturbed by them in a ...this is the kind of person that i used to have in my life...kind of way....and ....this is how paranoid and insane P makes people ...way.
I am turning the ability to comment on my blog off.
Back to sleep time for me.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
September 27, 2009
Ugh...my girls are laptop/tv/stereo/PC...
ANYTHING that is square and electrical....HOGS!
I had a lovely drive out to Waiuku and back. I took Nick his enchiladas and i now have a huge flat/wide...whatever TV with matching cabinet in my lounge.
Thanks Nick...you have totally pimped my lounge! M old TV is now in the girl's room. Can you please buy a new washing machine now? haha
My girls have hogged my laptop since we have been home. I got in so much trouble with Nicole because i accidentally shut the PC off at the wall when she was in the middle of some very important MSN conversation. Honestly....she was so mad that i thought she was joking at first. SS and i got in trouble the whole evening the other night as well...talking while she was trying to watch Outrageous Fortune. Gosh she has turned bossy. SS says that it only gets worse. I'm not sure i like his lack of optimism!
I have removed everywhere that i can find where i used it's sir name...it took me awhile to remove that sir name. If it is still anywhere in my blog then i am sure it will be brought to my attention by way of a screaming banshee and overused punctuation.
I have to be up early in the morning to chauffeur Jorgia and her friends around. I'm tired. If you aren't happy now. Too bad.
We went and grabbed a few things in Pak n Save before coming home this afternoon. I had to get some soft drinks for Jorgia to take to her friends party tomorrow. We were at the check out and i had chocolate chips...sugar...and a couple of bottles of fizzy drinks.
The check out operator was an Indian or middle eastern looking young man with a turban on his head. There was a woman in front of me with about a hundred items in the express lane. I LOATHE people that do that....if i have 13 items i won't go in the express lane. Pak n Save are even more generous and say 15 items....this woman had 127 items. Well...seemed like that anyway. When she went to leave the security alarms went off...and the young check out operator went to turn around and say something to her.
While he did that he accidentally knocked over my bottle of fizzy drink that i was purchasing. I tried to catch it but i missed and it landed on the ground and burst open and sprayed everywhere....all over everyone...in the line to our left. I got some on me...as did the girls...but honestly...some people are so damn rude. Half the shop stopped and stared at him...the check out supervisor lady was so rude to him in front of everyone...and the people in the next line over that got a bit of fizzy drink on their clothes were so damn rude.
It was disgusting. I was so embarrassed for that young guy. I could see him fighting back tears. So could the girls. He apologised so many times and we just tried to help clean up and told him not to stress. It was an accident. I can't believe what assholes some people are.
I hope his night got better. I have thought about that poor guy tonight and hope it did.
Jorgia and i are curled up in bed and about to watch Romeo and Juliet now.
Goodnight you lot. x
I had a lovely drive out to Waiuku and back. I took Nick his enchiladas and i now have a huge flat/wide...whatever TV with matching cabinet in my lounge.
Thanks Nick...you have totally pimped my lounge! M old TV is now in the girl's room. Can you please buy a new washing machine now? haha
My girls have hogged my laptop since we have been home. I got in so much trouble with Nicole because i accidentally shut the PC off at the wall when she was in the middle of some very important MSN conversation. Honestly....she was so mad that i thought she was joking at first. SS and i got in trouble the whole evening the other night as well...talking while she was trying to watch Outrageous Fortune. Gosh she has turned bossy. SS says that it only gets worse. I'm not sure i like his lack of optimism!
I have removed everywhere that i can find where i used it's sir name...it took me awhile to remove that sir name. If it is still anywhere in my blog then i am sure it will be brought to my attention by way of a screaming banshee and overused punctuation.
I have to be up early in the morning to chauffeur Jorgia and her friends around. I'm tired. If you aren't happy now. Too bad.
We went and grabbed a few things in Pak n Save before coming home this afternoon. I had to get some soft drinks for Jorgia to take to her friends party tomorrow. We were at the check out and i had chocolate chips...sugar...and a couple of bottles of fizzy drinks.
The check out operator was an Indian or middle eastern looking young man with a turban on his head. There was a woman in front of me with about a hundred items in the express lane. I LOATHE people that do that....if i have 13 items i won't go in the express lane. Pak n Save are even more generous and say 15 items....this woman had 127 items. Well...seemed like that anyway. When she went to leave the security alarms went off...and the young check out operator went to turn around and say something to her.
While he did that he accidentally knocked over my bottle of fizzy drink that i was purchasing. I tried to catch it but i missed and it landed on the ground and burst open and sprayed everywhere....all over everyone...in the line to our left. I got some on me...as did the girls...but honestly...some people are so damn rude. Half the shop stopped and stared at him...the check out supervisor lady was so rude to him in front of everyone...and the people in the next line over that got a bit of fizzy drink on their clothes were so damn rude.
It was disgusting. I was so embarrassed for that young guy. I could see him fighting back tears. So could the girls. He apologised so many times and we just tried to help clean up and told him not to stress. It was an accident. I can't believe what assholes some people are.
I hope his night got better. I have thought about that poor guy tonight and hope it did.
Jorgia and i are curled up in bed and about to watch Romeo and Juliet now.
Goodnight you lot. x
I have spent my whole day cooking...
I have made two dishes of chicken enchiladas and a big pot of my home made vegetable soup...I still have baking cookies to go. Then i am set for the week.
This reminds me of when Nick and i were still married and we both worked long hours. I would spend all day Sunday food shopping and making dinners for the whole week to go in the freezer. I did this so that i could come home every night, take a home cooked meal out of the fridge, stick it in the oven, and put my feet up til it was ready.
Gosh, i was so organised back then.
On that note....it is time for me to crank up the AC/DC and hit the southern. What a beautiful day for it. I love driving out to Waiuku again these days.
By the way...I'm still waiting for AC/DC ticket donations. I guess you cheapos are lucky that one of Tan's good mates lives in a house that backs on to Western Springs, so either way i get to see them.
It's a long way to the top if you want to Rock n Roll.
This reminds me of when Nick and i were still married and we both worked long hours. I would spend all day Sunday food shopping and making dinners for the whole week to go in the freezer. I did this so that i could come home every night, take a home cooked meal out of the fridge, stick it in the oven, and put my feet up til it was ready.
Gosh, i was so organised back then.
On that note....it is time for me to crank up the AC/DC and hit the southern. What a beautiful day for it. I love driving out to Waiuku again these days.
By the way...I'm still waiting for AC/DC ticket donations. I guess you cheapos are lucky that one of Tan's good mates lives in a house that backs on to Western Springs, so either way i get to see them.
It's a long way to the top if you want to Rock n Roll.
I woke up to the sound of Snoopy's teacher
Good morning Sunshine!
I am going to lie in bed for a little while longer...then i am going to go for my walk and look all cool and stuff with my new IPOD...it's a metallic green colour. I am the cool. The earplugs stay in my ears a lot better than the black ones that came with my cell phone too...I always thought it was that weird piercing that i have in my ear that made the left one fall out...but they were just crappy ear phones haha.
I still love that piercing. I never went nutty with the whole piercing thing when i was young. I remember that i was one of the first people ever to get my belly button pierced back when i was like 23, before it was all trendy. I remember everyone at Southern Cross freaking out about it when i first got it done and showed them. By the time i left that job 4 years later, everyone had it done! haha I took the belly button piercing out years ago. I think 30 was about the age where i went hmmmm this looks retarded and i am too old for this now.
I still love the funky one in my ear though.
Anyway...i am going to enjoy a bit more of a sleep in...then go for my walk...then do a boat load of cooking and baking...then I'm off to Waiuku to collect the girls for TWO WHOLE WEEKS! yayayyayayayayaya
Happy daylight savings! Summer is on it's way and i am going to enjoy this one like you would not believe!
I nearly forgot! Tans and baby Wai are coming down tomorrow to stay with me as well! I am going to have a full house and will love every minute of it!
On that note....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
September 26, 2009
I have had a fairly productive day...
Sooooo ever since then...the tiniest amount of weight has made it squeak so loud. I did not care how well it was put together that first night. I just wanted to sleep. Recently i have noticed the screws falling out...either that or there is a screw family living under my bed that keeps having babies.
Sorry people...not allowed to give away enchilada recipe
What???
From: Tracey Q <>View Contact
To: Jackie Baillie
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You're going to just GIVE away the almost world famous chicken enchilada recipe?? ;-)
They are yummy, eh? When you come over I'll make them for you every day. We could live off them and popcorn and be pleased as punch!
Talk to you soon, love you!
People happy Sue Bradford's leaving politics - Yahoo!Xtra News
People happy Sue Bradford's leaving politics - Yahoo!Xtra News
That is because i am always right, so everyone agrees with ME.
Or
It could be because she sucks mouldy ass.
Nah...I'm always right.
Goodbye Sue.
That is because i am always right, so everyone agrees with ME.
Or
It could be because she sucks mouldy ass.
Nah...I'm always right.
Goodbye Sue.
I now remember why i had never purchased an IPOD
I splashed out and bought myself a cheap one today. The shuffle...but it IS the 3rd generation one so that is ok. Anyway...i returned from JB Hi-fi and began playing with this thing at 2:13. It is now 4:50...and i have only JUST realised that it was not charging or doing anything because the USB cord was not pushed all the way into the damn thing.
I didn't get any birthday presents ....so this was my present to myself. I deserved it. Yes i am trying to justify spending the money and not being able to eat for the rest of the week. haha KIDDING! I still have bread.
Nearly 3 hours later...it is charging. As you were.
I didn't get any birthday presents ....so this was my present to myself. I deserved it. Yes i am trying to justify spending the money and not being able to eat for the rest of the week. haha KIDDING! I still have bread.
Nearly 3 hours later...it is charging. As you were.
Learning to Budget
I just had the weirdest dream, in the last two hours while i was having more of a sleep in. It was so realistic and jumped all over the place...went from being serious and scary to just downright weird...and back again. It was so vivid, that it feels like it was real.
I'm still all cosy in bed. Gosh, I never used to be such a sleeper inner haha ...it's another new word day for me. I am def going for my walk today though. I bought new tennis shoes this week just for my walks and it has rained ever since. I am forcing myself to go ....rain or shine today or else i will feel like my new shoes were a waste of money. There is this really cheap shoe shop in Onehunga, on the main street. I forget what it is called but it is like Briscoes and always has a huge sale on and they have all the cool brands etc. Indians own it...i think...or Asians...or maybe a mixture of the two...god knows...but they have New Balance running shoes there for $50.00. Converse all stars for like $60...they have all the brands...every brand accept i couldn't find any Nike (my fav brand) but that is ok...they are only for my walks. I grabbed a cheap pair of New balance running shoes so now my walks will be much more pleasant, and not so hard on my feet.
I want an Ipod, for my walks now. Jorgia's Ipod was more user friendly and goes louder than my phone. That will have to wait though. I have a fridge to pay for.
It's funny. I was thinking about it this week. Every week now, i live off the same amount of money that we used to spend in two nights on booze, party pills, and smokes. After my rent is paid, i pay a portion of my phone and power, do a food shop, and put petrol in my car...and my treat is 25 dollars on those hideous rollie smokes, just to keep those nicotine withdrawals at bay. All my bills are paid and i don't really have any money worries now yet i live off the same amount that we would spend on that crap in two nights. I look back now and we had four times the amount of money every week that i have now...yet we always felt so broke.
I think it is just a matter of it being a fact that we just survive...some people would look at what i live on now and think they could never do it. We do what we have to do...and the more we earn the more we spend anyway. I don't feel like things are terribly difficult financially at the moment. I don't really care about it. As long as i am sleeping at night instead of worrying about bills not being paid then i am happy. I pay all my bills on Thursday or Friday and then i quite often will go from Saturday until the following Thursday with NO MONEY...and it does not bother me.
I have everything i need. Isn't that mental? I never used to be able to go a day without money...let alone 5 and be ok with that.
I have never been good with money and i think that finally learning how to budget, and pay all my bills first and then survive on what is left over is such a huge, valuable lesson and tool for me to be learning. I wish i had learned it years ago. I'm still young though and there is plenty of time to play catch up.
I know that once i am back at work, i will appreciate having more money and it will be used more wisely than it has been in the past. This is just another example of how i am going to come out of all of this, so much better off than i would be if i had never gone through any of what i have gone through over the past 2 and a half years.
On that note...shower time for me.
I'm still all cosy in bed. Gosh, I never used to be such a sleeper inner haha ...it's another new word day for me. I am def going for my walk today though. I bought new tennis shoes this week just for my walks and it has rained ever since. I am forcing myself to go ....rain or shine today or else i will feel like my new shoes were a waste of money. There is this really cheap shoe shop in Onehunga, on the main street. I forget what it is called but it is like Briscoes and always has a huge sale on and they have all the cool brands etc. Indians own it...i think...or Asians...or maybe a mixture of the two...god knows...but they have New Balance running shoes there for $50.00. Converse all stars for like $60...they have all the brands...every brand accept i couldn't find any Nike (my fav brand) but that is ok...they are only for my walks. I grabbed a cheap pair of New balance running shoes so now my walks will be much more pleasant, and not so hard on my feet.
I want an Ipod, for my walks now. Jorgia's Ipod was more user friendly and goes louder than my phone. That will have to wait though. I have a fridge to pay for.
It's funny. I was thinking about it this week. Every week now, i live off the same amount of money that we used to spend in two nights on booze, party pills, and smokes. After my rent is paid, i pay a portion of my phone and power, do a food shop, and put petrol in my car...and my treat is 25 dollars on those hideous rollie smokes, just to keep those nicotine withdrawals at bay. All my bills are paid and i don't really have any money worries now yet i live off the same amount that we would spend on that crap in two nights. I look back now and we had four times the amount of money every week that i have now...yet we always felt so broke.
I think it is just a matter of it being a fact that we just survive...some people would look at what i live on now and think they could never do it. We do what we have to do...and the more we earn the more we spend anyway. I don't feel like things are terribly difficult financially at the moment. I don't really care about it. As long as i am sleeping at night instead of worrying about bills not being paid then i am happy. I pay all my bills on Thursday or Friday and then i quite often will go from Saturday until the following Thursday with NO MONEY...and it does not bother me.
I have everything i need. Isn't that mental? I never used to be able to go a day without money...let alone 5 and be ok with that.
I have never been good with money and i think that finally learning how to budget, and pay all my bills first and then survive on what is left over is such a huge, valuable lesson and tool for me to be learning. I wish i had learned it years ago. I'm still young though and there is plenty of time to play catch up.
I know that once i am back at work, i will appreciate having more money and it will be used more wisely than it has been in the past. This is just another example of how i am going to come out of all of this, so much better off than i would be if i had never gone through any of what i have gone through over the past 2 and a half years.
On that note...shower time for me.
I had forgotten about getting old
and my gradually worsenning PMS!!!
That explains why i have cried every time someone said boo to me this week and spoke my mind so loudly yesterday. ( I had been so good at ignoring )
Good morning! I am going back to sleep.
That explains why i have cried every time someone said boo to me this week and spoke my mind so loudly yesterday. ( I had been so good at ignoring )
Good morning! I am going back to sleep.
September 25, 2009
Hair loss side effect of meth?
Hair loss side effect of meth?
Well there you go. This is why my hair was thinning and not growing and now it is thick again and growing like a weed.
Who would have thunk it?
Nightie night.
PS...no doubt i will be back...at 1am and 4am ughhhh
Well there you go. This is why my hair was thinning and not growing and now it is thick again and growing like a weed.
Who would have thunk it?
Nightie night.
PS...no doubt i will be back...at 1am and 4am ughhhh
Early night for me
I am already in bed. I have to get up and take dishes to the kitchen and turn off lights and then i am crashing. I have tonight and tomorrow night, alone before i get the girls back on Sunday evening for the whole school holidays!!!! yayayaya I have not had them for two whole weeks all to myself since i lived in Waiuku. As much as i am looking forward to it...i am going to make the most of my two days and two nights of being alone aka i am going to make the most of having my laptop all to myself.
I have to admit though...they aren't really MY world famous enchiladas...they are my sister Tracey's. I better admit that since she reads this haha ...She taught me how to make them when she was over here for a visit in April 2002...way back when Nick and i were still together! They were are so yummy that they are still one of my favourite things to cook and never met anyone that did not love them.
I will post the recipe and how to make them on here AFTER i get my new TV haha. So anyway ...that is soooo cool of Nick and Kristine. Awesome awesome awesome. New tv time for me. I will take a photo and show you on Monday. I am sure you just can't wait haha.
I am going to do some research on the effect that meth has on hair and nails. My hair is growing like a weed...like Dan said he noticed it was longer just from when he saw me last week....and for the first time in my life i have nice, long, strong fingernails...and they are not glued on! Once in awhile one will break but it's like it grows back overnight.
I think i might be healthy or some shit. On that note...i have the mean headache going on tonight haha so goodnight! xoxoxoxo
I received good news from Jorgia this morning. Nick has gone and bought one of those massive, huge, plasma, movie theatre like tvs for their lounge...so now they have 3 TVs and only need two. I asked the girls to ask Nick if i could buy one of their old ones and Nick has said i can have it if i make them my world famous ( in my house ) ...Chicken Enchiladas!!! So i said i would make them 2 big casserole dishes of it...one to eat and one to freeze and keep for a later date.
I have to admit though...they aren't really MY world famous enchiladas...they are my sister Tracey's. I better admit that since she reads this haha ...She taught me how to make them when she was over here for a visit in April 2002...way back when Nick and i were still together! They were are so yummy that they are still one of my favourite things to cook and never met anyone that did not love them.
I will post the recipe and how to make them on here AFTER i get my new TV haha. So anyway ...that is soooo cool of Nick and Kristine. Awesome awesome awesome. New tv time for me. I will take a photo and show you on Monday. I am sure you just can't wait haha.
I am going to do some research on the effect that meth has on hair and nails. My hair is growing like a weed...like Dan said he noticed it was longer just from when he saw me last week....and for the first time in my life i have nice, long, strong fingernails...and they are not glued on! Once in awhile one will break but it's like it grows back overnight.
I think i might be healthy or some shit. On that note...i have the mean headache going on tonight haha so goodnight! xoxoxoxo
NZ becomes land of the long reddish-brown cloud - Yahoo!Xtra News
NZ becomes land of the long reddish-brown cloud - Yahoo!Xtra News
I knew it! I knew i was not seeing things last night. The whole sky was orange at 1am but dark again by the time i woke at 4.
It looked like it was lit up with orange lights that were off in the distance or something.
Phew...it is nice to get confirmation that i am not crazy!
I knew it! I knew i was not seeing things last night. The whole sky was orange at 1am but dark again by the time i woke at 4.
It looked like it was lit up with orange lights that were off in the distance or something.
Phew...it is nice to get confirmation that i am not crazy!
Convicted killer ran P ring from prison cell - Yahoo!Xtra News
Convicted killer ran P ring from prison cell - Yahoo!Xtra News
I'm like a dog with a bone. I am THE DEFINITION of the ex smoker that bitches every single time someone lights up... once they have quit. I love it.
I'm like a dog with a bone. I am THE DEFINITION of the ex smoker that bitches every single time someone lights up... once they have quit. I love it.
Bradford quits politics - Yahoo!Xtra News
Bradford quits politics - Yahoo!Xtra News
What a shame. My favourite politician is resigning from politics to return to her "grassroots" (Nice pun) hahahahahhaha ahem sorry...umm yeah so i guess that means we get to go back to seeing her get arrested on TV while pretending like she is getting beaten up by the police again?
Fantastic. Getting to see her acting abilities (which are not great) at every single protest, for every single stupid thing that a person could think up to protest about will make me feel like a teenager again.
I don't like her - Goodbye Sue
What a shame. My favourite politician is resigning from politics to return to her "grassroots" (Nice pun) hahahahahhaha ahem sorry...umm yeah so i guess that means we get to go back to seeing her get arrested on TV while pretending like she is getting beaten up by the police again?
Fantastic. Getting to see her acting abilities (which are not great) at every single protest, for every single stupid thing that a person could think up to protest about will make me feel like a teenager again.
I don't like her - Goodbye Sue
Minimum 14 years jail for murdering friend - Yahoo!Xtra News
Minimum 14 years jail for murdering friend - Yahoo!Xtra News: "Minimum 14 years jail for murdering friend"
I think i have jinxed myself or something
This is ridiculous!!!! I shit you not...i just woke at 4:04.
I am going to get someone to stay the night here and stay awake all night listening for the things that wake me up....either that, or i might try ear plugs tomorrow night.
Back to sleep....I have to be up at 6 to get Nicole to school.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I am going to get someone to stay the night here and stay awake all night listening for the things that wake me up....either that, or i might try ear plugs tomorrow night.
Back to sleep....I have to be up at 6 to get Nicole to school.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Just like clockwork...
I'm just running a few minutes early tonight.
I had secret squirrel over for dinner last night and he suggested that something happens around here at about 1am and 4am that makes a noise and wakes me every night. If that is the case then whatever it is, stops by the time it wakes me so that i can't BLOG IT!!!!!!!!!
Either i am seeing things, or we have gotten some of that dust storm from Sydney, because the sky has a slight orange tinge to it. It is entirely possible that i am dreaming this though because my eyes are heavy and i am going straight back to sleep.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I had secret squirrel over for dinner last night and he suggested that something happens around here at about 1am and 4am that makes a noise and wakes me every night. If that is the case then whatever it is, stops by the time it wakes me so that i can't BLOG IT!!!!!!!!!
Either i am seeing things, or we have gotten some of that dust storm from Sydney, because the sky has a slight orange tinge to it. It is entirely possible that i am dreaming this though because my eyes are heavy and i am going straight back to sleep.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
September 24, 2009
I knew a girl that used to do this...
Sneak drugs into Mount Eden Prison, to her boyfriend.
They entered the court room and sat on the bench directly in front of me. She turned around and said hello, asked where i had been, and how i was doing. I told her that my apartment had been raided and i had learned a hard lesson and had left that life in my past. She said that she had noticed that i was no longer on that website. I asked about her boyfriends case and she said it was not going well.
I looked at him and he was sweating so much. Sweat was just dripping off his face. He looked so unhealthy. They both did.
I remember the day that he first got arrested. I had met her through that flatmate that i had for a few weeks. Her and i had gotten friendly, and i knew that she was involved in drugs and that her boyfriend was as well. By involved, i mean did them.
She smoked a lot of P and also drank that drink that they call G....or GHB ( i think ) It's that date rape drug. Someone slipped that terrible stuff into a drink of mine once and the experience was so bad that i thought i would die at the time, and was never tempted to ever touch it again when i saw her doing it. At this stage my involvement in drugs had yet to begin, but i was lonely so i did not mind having her around.
One night she turned up at my place and appeared to be very intoxicated. I assumed she was just really drunk. She disappeared into that flatmates room. It was about 11pm ...late but not way late. I had wandered out to my mail box because i had not checked my mail for awhile. As i was walking across that car park...i heard this awful horrendous noise coming from my apartment. It sounded like a cross between a howling or barking dog, and a person vomiting. I could hear it all the way across the parking lot.
I ran up the stairs and made it inside and she was still in his bedroom...and that noise was coming from her. It was so awful...i remember after a few minutes of listening to it...i kneeled down on the floor and plugged my ears and was just saying " please shut up...please be quiet" over and over and over. I shut my eyes so that i could not see what was going on. I knew the neighbours would all be hearing it. I just sat there in lounge listening to it, on my knees, bent over with my eyes closed and my fingers in my ears.
Apparently she was not drunk when she arrived. She was on that G drug. The flatmate had given her some more i guess and i guess she was overdosing on it. She came out in to the lounge and was thrashing about. She banged her head, or face on the kitchen counter and the landed on her back on the kitchen floor. She was still making that noise and now blood was coming out of her mouth.
I think it was about then that I just got up and walked out of that apartment and i got in my car and just left. I was horrified, so upset, and so shaken by what i had seen...that i did not go back til later that evening. I will never forget that noise that she made.
Eventually in the afternoon, she must have recovered and she text me and apologised. I told her how upset i was at what i had witnessed and told her that drugs were not allowed in my apartment any longer. My exact words to her were that she was my friend, i cared about her, that had upset me so much that i could not describe how i felt, and that as my friend she should respect my wish not to have that drug in my apartment because she would not want to risk me seeing her like that again.
It was horrible seeing a friend in that situation and having no idea why she was like that or what i could do and at the same time knowing it was drugs so you can't call 111 and you are worried about the neighbours hearing. I was horrified at what i was witnessing and wanted to help and then i felt guilt for worrying about police and the neighbours etc. It was the worst situation i have ever been in.
She said she was so sorry and would never do it around me again. Our friendship continued for another month or so...then i noticed that she would arrive at my apartment fine and gradually start acting like she was on drugs. I could not work it out. Several times i tried to catch her doing drugs in my bathroom etc...i knew something was up.
I finally accused her. I said..."you are doing that drug in my bathroom...i can see you getting more and more wasted right in front of my eyes" She laughed...had a huge smile on her face and said...nahhh it's in my V bottle. She was drinking that drug out of a V bottle right in front of me.
I told her that she was not a friend, obviously, otherwise she would not have wanted to risk me seeing her in that terrible situation again and i asked her to leave. That was the last time i saw her...until court a month or so ago.
Anywayyyy...that story was not what this post was originally about.
One day she turned up at my place in the middle of the day, really worried about her boyfriend. She had rung him and said she was picking him up to go shopping in ten minutes. He said ...sweet as...but when she turned up at his place he was not there. He was not replying to texts or answering his phone.
I asked her if he was doing anything dodgy. He seemed to always be talking about people all over Auckland that owed him money. 22 year old guys don't just go around loaning people 8 grand here...6 grand there like he was always mentioning. It had not dawned on me how weird that was until her and i were having this conversation. I just had a feeling he had been arrested.
I suggested this to her, and she did not really say much. I think it was like 3 days later that she found out that he was in Auckland Remand...across the road from where i was living. He had been arrested and charged with trafficking a million dollars worth of E. He was involved in a big bust that involved arrests all over the country. Out of all the arrests there were two Poms that were refused bail because they were a flight risk. He was one of them.
He spent like 3 months in there being refused bail. Visiting day for her was Mondays and she used to come stay the night at my place on Sunday night so that she could be there early to see him. It was terrible hearing how bad he was doing in there. They eventually let him out, and i guess his case is still ongoing. He is looking at a ten year prison term apparently, and he is still on drugs. I find that unbelievable....that the thought of being in prison for ten years is not enough for him to stop. The thought of the police ever knocking on my door again was enough for me!
Anyway...every Monday morning she would sneak drugs into him at Mount Eden Prison. She never stayed a Sunday night again after i found out. I lectured her non stop about how i could not believe the risks she was taking for some guy that she had only known 2 months before his arrest.
She still advertises on that website. She does and sells drugs. She has a boyfriend that does not mind her being a hooker because it funds his habit, and he is about to get a life sentence by the sounds of it.
P found under man's testicles at prison
Police have found $1,000 worth of methamphetamine under a man's testicles during a search of visitors into Waikeria Prison.
The man refused to reveal anything, after he was seen attempting to conceal something down his trousers during a vehicle search.
Prison staff also located a P pipe in the vehicle glove box.
It is the third drug intercept at Waikeria Prison this week - $1,000 worth of morphine, diazepam and cannabis was recovered during a search of property posted or couriered into the prison.
In a third incident, a visitor to the prison was found with 20 grams of cannabis hidden behind panels in her vehicleShe never got caught though. I saw her with her boyfriend, when i was last in court for the drug thing. It's been a year since he got arrested and he is still going through the court system. He is in a by far, worse situation than i am in though.
They entered the court room and sat on the bench directly in front of me. She turned around and said hello, asked where i had been, and how i was doing. I told her that my apartment had been raided and i had learned a hard lesson and had left that life in my past. She said that she had noticed that i was no longer on that website. I asked about her boyfriends case and she said it was not going well.
I looked at him and he was sweating so much. Sweat was just dripping off his face. He looked so unhealthy. They both did.
I remember the day that he first got arrested. I had met her through that flatmate that i had for a few weeks. Her and i had gotten friendly, and i knew that she was involved in drugs and that her boyfriend was as well. By involved, i mean did them.
She smoked a lot of P and also drank that drink that they call G....or GHB ( i think ) It's that date rape drug. Someone slipped that terrible stuff into a drink of mine once and the experience was so bad that i thought i would die at the time, and was never tempted to ever touch it again when i saw her doing it. At this stage my involvement in drugs had yet to begin, but i was lonely so i did not mind having her around.
One night she turned up at my place and appeared to be very intoxicated. I assumed she was just really drunk. She disappeared into that flatmates room. It was about 11pm ...late but not way late. I had wandered out to my mail box because i had not checked my mail for awhile. As i was walking across that car park...i heard this awful horrendous noise coming from my apartment. It sounded like a cross between a howling or barking dog, and a person vomiting. I could hear it all the way across the parking lot.
I ran up the stairs and made it inside and she was still in his bedroom...and that noise was coming from her. It was so awful...i remember after a few minutes of listening to it...i kneeled down on the floor and plugged my ears and was just saying " please shut up...please be quiet" over and over and over. I shut my eyes so that i could not see what was going on. I knew the neighbours would all be hearing it. I just sat there in lounge listening to it, on my knees, bent over with my eyes closed and my fingers in my ears.
Apparently she was not drunk when she arrived. She was on that G drug. The flatmate had given her some more i guess and i guess she was overdosing on it. She came out in to the lounge and was thrashing about. She banged her head, or face on the kitchen counter and the landed on her back on the kitchen floor. She was still making that noise and now blood was coming out of her mouth.
I think it was about then that I just got up and walked out of that apartment and i got in my car and just left. I was horrified, so upset, and so shaken by what i had seen...that i did not go back til later that evening. I will never forget that noise that she made.
Eventually in the afternoon, she must have recovered and she text me and apologised. I told her how upset i was at what i had witnessed and told her that drugs were not allowed in my apartment any longer. My exact words to her were that she was my friend, i cared about her, that had upset me so much that i could not describe how i felt, and that as my friend she should respect my wish not to have that drug in my apartment because she would not want to risk me seeing her like that again.
It was horrible seeing a friend in that situation and having no idea why she was like that or what i could do and at the same time knowing it was drugs so you can't call 111 and you are worried about the neighbours hearing. I was horrified at what i was witnessing and wanted to help and then i felt guilt for worrying about police and the neighbours etc. It was the worst situation i have ever been in.
She said she was so sorry and would never do it around me again. Our friendship continued for another month or so...then i noticed that she would arrive at my apartment fine and gradually start acting like she was on drugs. I could not work it out. Several times i tried to catch her doing drugs in my bathroom etc...i knew something was up.
I finally accused her. I said..."you are doing that drug in my bathroom...i can see you getting more and more wasted right in front of my eyes" She laughed...had a huge smile on her face and said...nahhh it's in my V bottle. She was drinking that drug out of a V bottle right in front of me.
I told her that she was not a friend, obviously, otherwise she would not have wanted to risk me seeing her in that terrible situation again and i asked her to leave. That was the last time i saw her...until court a month or so ago.
Anywayyyy...that story was not what this post was originally about.
One day she turned up at my place in the middle of the day, really worried about her boyfriend. She had rung him and said she was picking him up to go shopping in ten minutes. He said ...sweet as...but when she turned up at his place he was not there. He was not replying to texts or answering his phone.
I asked her if he was doing anything dodgy. He seemed to always be talking about people all over Auckland that owed him money. 22 year old guys don't just go around loaning people 8 grand here...6 grand there like he was always mentioning. It had not dawned on me how weird that was until her and i were having this conversation. I just had a feeling he had been arrested.
I suggested this to her, and she did not really say much. I think it was like 3 days later that she found out that he was in Auckland Remand...across the road from where i was living. He had been arrested and charged with trafficking a million dollars worth of E. He was involved in a big bust that involved arrests all over the country. Out of all the arrests there were two Poms that were refused bail because they were a flight risk. He was one of them.
He spent like 3 months in there being refused bail. Visiting day for her was Mondays and she used to come stay the night at my place on Sunday night so that she could be there early to see him. It was terrible hearing how bad he was doing in there. They eventually let him out, and i guess his case is still ongoing. He is looking at a ten year prison term apparently, and he is still on drugs. I find that unbelievable....that the thought of being in prison for ten years is not enough for him to stop. The thought of the police ever knocking on my door again was enough for me!
Anyway...every Monday morning she would sneak drugs into him at Mount Eden Prison. She never stayed a Sunday night again after i found out. I lectured her non stop about how i could not believe the risks she was taking for some guy that she had only known 2 months before his arrest.
She still advertises on that website. She does and sells drugs. She has a boyfriend that does not mind her being a hooker because it funds his habit, and he is about to get a life sentence by the sounds of it. What a life aye? I can't believe i ever did it even once. I am so lucky i got caught when i did. Before i was any further gone than i was. I looked at them in court that day...and i just felt sorry for them.
On that note...i have a visitor coming over for dinner so i better get cooking!
Latersssssssssss
I'm tired...
I have not had a good full night's sleep in awhile, and this morning was emotionally draining. I have Nicole home sick with me, but she seems to be feeling a bit better now, so that is good. We have been blobbing out on the couches watching Outrageous Fortune...i have the whole series on DVD. Every single episode except for the ones from season 5 that is still on TV at the moment. I will get that one out when it comes out.
I remember back in Feb when Tans was staying with me, we bought them all and spent like 3 weeks just blobbed out in front of the tv every single day watching every single episode. They are hilarious. Nicole and i started on the first season this morning and i can tell what we are going to be doing during rainy days over the next two weeks. She is glued to it.
It is raining so hard outside. It's so nice being inside my bright, cosy little pad, with huge windows, just sitting here watching the rain. I guess that is another thing that i never appreciated doing before.
I am so lucky.
On that note, i think i might take a nap.
Crap...just got a text from Jorgia and all the schools in the Howick area are on lockdown...apparently that is what they do when there is something dangerous going on ....the police helicopter is out there as well., I wonder what is happening. She is still at school, locked in their classroom...20 minutes after they were meant to be let out.
I'm worried. Will flag the nap now.
I remember back in Feb when Tans was staying with me, we bought them all and spent like 3 weeks just blobbed out in front of the tv every single day watching every single episode. They are hilarious. Nicole and i started on the first season this morning and i can tell what we are going to be doing during rainy days over the next two weeks. She is glued to it.
It is raining so hard outside. It's so nice being inside my bright, cosy little pad, with huge windows, just sitting here watching the rain. I guess that is another thing that i never appreciated doing before.
I am so lucky.
On that note, i think i might take a nap.
Crap...just got a text from Jorgia and all the schools in the Howick area are on lockdown...apparently that is what they do when there is something dangerous going on ....the police helicopter is out there as well., I wonder what is happening. She is still at school, locked in their classroom...20 minutes after they were meant to be let out.
I'm worried. Will flag the nap now.
Man in custody after gun sighting
A man is in custody after reports he was carrying a gun near two Auckland schools.
Shelley Park Primary and Somerville Intermediate in Howick have been in lockdown for much of the afternoon.
Police say the man is now being spoken to by police.
I was wrong
It was not just a setback, it was a setback that will make me stronger.
James forced me to phone the guy at Crockers that i dealt with re the apartment. I did not want to talk to him. I was ashamed. Despite the fact that i did not intentionally steal the fridge...i did keep it when i knew it had been brought here. I never turned on my vodafone number, so he had no way of contacting me. I wanted to keep it because i could not afford a new fridge and i am not strong enough to have contact with Danny or the Baillies to retrieve mine. I could go without a washing machine. Handwashing clothes does not bother me. I could not go without a fridge. Especially not with having the kids as much as i do now.
I was so ashamed to have to face the Crockers guy. I left that apartment and just turned my phone off.
I phoned him twice this morning and left messages because James told me, if i didn't, i would get charged with theft and end up in a jail cell again. Dan stopped by for coffee and i was crying and had to tell him the whole fridgegate story. He was all bossy like James...and after he left kept phoning me because he said i was not allowed to wait for Crockers to get back to me. He told me i had to just keep ringing them. So Dan kept phoning to hassle me to make sure that i was chasing Crockers.
They finally got back to me. My landline rang and i knew it was them. It never rings. The guy at Crockers was so kind and very reasonable and understanding with me, and it turns out that they have already purchased a new fridge for the apartment and they will most likely just prefer that i purchase it and should be able to pay it off to them.
I did not deserve for him to be kind or reasonable to me. I stole their fridge. People that i have done wrong to just keep surprising me with their understanding and kindness. I had an emotional meltdown this morning, thinking that i might get what i actually deserve...I lost faith for awhile in the fact that these tests are sent to remind me how bad that life was, but that everything will work out for me in the end because, while i did bad things while on that drug...i am not a bad person.
I deserve to have to face up to these things that i have done. I know that. I am not a victim with terrible luck. I did things that were wrong and against the law. I am just fortunate that there are so many people that have been willing to see past the bad things that i have done and see that i am not a bad person. I am trying hard to do the right thing...every single day.
Thank you James...for being hard on me this morning and making me face up to what i did. It was easier than having to sit in a jail cell and have ANOTHER thing on my record...My heart feels lighter after speaking to Crockers.
I am so lucky. A lot of people that would like to fix their lives, like i am doing...don't have the help, or understanding that i am receiving everyday. If i ever have anything else like this to face up to again, i will remember how much better i feel right now, afterwards, than i did before it.
I don't have anything else though. I know that for a fact. James will never have me pop up on his computer again.
This week, i have been saved by Janette and thanks to James and Crockers i can hopefully sort out fridgegate without being charged with theft, or having to spend 5 minutes in a jail cell.
I did not realise at the time, but Nick getting me arrested in June prior to the drugs thing was the best thing that had happened to me in years. I would be in a lot worse of a place right now, had he not done that.
Thank you Janette, James, and Crockers. I know i don't deserve the kindness you have shown me.
Labels:
Challenges,
Forgiveness,
Honesty,
Methamphetamine
The Edge - Nudie Nuptials is today!
The wedding is at 8:10 am this morning...and i will be stuck in traffic! Stink buzz. It's an awfully chilly morning for that kind of carry on!
Boobs on Bikes...Naked weddings...my family in America will think NZers are perverts or something if this keeps up.
Boobs on Bikes...Naked weddings...my family in America will think NZers are perverts or something if this keeps up.
Morning positivity - Good morning Sunshine!
Thank you SS...and from my sister -
Good morning sunshine!
I shared your blog with Tim. He said you should write a book (I didn't even say anything). I look forward to reading your entries every day, and seeing the funny cartoons. By the way, there is NO WAY those boobies are real, no way!
I hope you have a happy day sis!
Love you heaps!
xo
My sister remembers good morning Sunshine as well. haha that's funny...the things that you remember about being a kid. Our grandad was cool. Love the boobie comment Tracey. Keep that up and people will start thinking that my sense of humour runs in the family or some sh&t... haha love you too Tracey xoxo
September 23, 2009
Today could have been a lot worse.
I don't think i am in too much trouble over the whole fridgegate debacle...as long as i can get it returned asap which i will look into doing tomorrow. It should not cost too much for a moving company to come collect it and drop it back i don't think. Hopefully not anyway.
The only issue with that though...is that i will now be fridgeless and forced to have contact with The Baillies or Danny re my fridge and washing machine that is at his dad's place in Whangaparaoa. The thought of having any contact with Danny or any of that family really scares me.
I have to admit to not having faith in myself, that i have come that far. I don't think i am ready to handle anything like that without having a meltdown. Not a psychotic crackie meltdown, but an emotional and hurtful one.
The only issue with that though...is that i will now be fridgeless and forced to have contact with The Baillies or Danny re my fridge and washing machine that is at his dad's place in Whangaparaoa. The thought of having any contact with Danny or any of that family really scares me.
I have to admit to not having faith in myself, that i have come that far. I don't think i am ready to handle anything like that without having a meltdown. Not a psychotic crackie meltdown, but an emotional and hurtful one.
Avoid Pt Chevalier / Mt Albert / Carrington Road area at all costs
There is something major going down around there...road blocks, police helicopter, big car smash with LOTS of police cars...marked and unmarked...and police speeding around looking for someone/thing.
I considered stopping to look for a boyfriend but i had a roast in the oven.
I considered stopping to look for a boyfriend but i had a roast in the oven.
This has been your afternoon traffic report, brought to you by ME...now back to Mike and Hillary.
OMG Boobs on Bikes
Need i say more? hahahahahahhahaahhahahahahaha
Imagine the excess skin when she has to get those puppies removed! hahahahahahah
I cannot believe my eyes!
I cannot believe my eyes!
There is outrage among the business community that Boobs on Bikes has coincided with Air New Zealand Fashion Week.
The controversial annual parade is travelling down Queen Street at lunch time today.
Newmarket Business Association chief Cameron Brewer says the tacky parade is a bad look, and the timing could not have been worse. He is hoping international buyers and media at Fashion Week will have their heads down and will be too busy to notice what is going on down Queen Street.
Mr Brewer says it is a shame such a trashy event is going on at the same time that our creative sector is putting their best foot forward.
I cannot believe 80,000 New Zealanders went out in the rain to see that today. 80,000 people will go watch tits in the rain, and not one of them will buy me AC/DC tickets -Mental
I want one of these
"Together, we've created journeys that were beyond anything we could imagine. Journeys that dreams are made of. We have ridden into the sunset on a white stallion countless times. We've tasted the dust in the birthplaces of religions. Yet you still take my breath away. I'm still not complete until I look in your eyes. You are my woman, my lover, my mate and my lady. I've loved you forever, I love you now and I will love you. For evermore." -Patrick Swayze to his wife Lisa.
Ugh...i thought i had one DANNY! You suck.
Where can i get me one? Anyone?
Today, I am in trouble AGAIN
Ugh....confession time. I technically stole the fridge from the apartment and now i am in trouble. I can't wait for that life to stop bothering me!
I was in hospital, and Tans did me the hugest favour and organised movers to move the big things for me. She did not realise that the fridge was not mine. The moving company and Tans brought the fridge here with all my other big things. It was here when i got home from hospital.
Returning it has been in the too hard basket all this time. I can't lift it, it won't fit in my car, i don't have a tow bar...and returning it would force me to go up to Danny's Dad's house and get my fridge and washing machine, that is apparently there...and i have no way of doing that either. I can't lift them and they won't fit in my car.
I can't afford movers. I need help with this...but right now i have to worry about being in trouble for stealing a fridge! It's almost funny really. I always refused to resort to stealing and ripping people off and now i am in trouble for it anyway.
If i had intentionally stolen it, i would have taken the washing machine and dryer as well. James said hopefully i can just return it. God knows how i will do that but where there is a will there is a way...so they say. It will be one less thing gone from my too hard basket, i suppose. I really need my things back from Danny.
UGH - that was confession time again people. I stole a fridge while i was in hospital. arrrghhhhhhhhhh It's not even a good fridge either. The whole time i was at the apartment it either totally froze things even in the fridge...(frozen lettuce not nice) or ice cubes just remained water.
I do have to admit to not being overly concerned when i got home from hospital and saw it here. That move was so horrible and hard to do on my own and i was so sick. I really did not give a toss at the time.
ugh...
I will have to pay movers to come get it. I live on nothing...everything goes on rent and into the kids stomachs or petrol to drive them back and forth from Howick. I want to go back to work but not until everything is cleared up from that life. I don't want to start a new job and have to ask to take time off to go to court.
uuuuuuuuuugggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh I am so NOT wanting to deal with the Baillies to get my stuff back.
Rant and confession over. As you were.
My God...i so wish i had known how much grief that drug was going to bring my life. I had virtually no contact with the police in my life until this year. Now i can ring them and say " hi it's me" hahahahha
This is sooo not funny. That drug is evil and anyone that touches it, is a total and complete MORON. Everything on my criminal record is from things i said and did while on that stupid f%cking drug.
Makes me so mad..how bad i have f%cked up. I am going to be dealing with my f*ck ups for some time to come, i guess. Part of me wishes that i could turn back time and not have done any of this...but part of me knows that everything i have been through, and every destructive thing i did, has made me a better person than i was before...because i came out the other side with a new appreciation for just how fortunate i really i am to be me.
I know that the crap that i am dealing with now is just God's way of making sure that i NEVER forget how bad it was. It is his way of making sure that i NEVER contemplate going back. He is teaching me a lesson, well and good. And that is ok. I need this lesson to be ingrained into my skull. Every bad thing like this is a blessing really. I would rather have to deal with this crap, than be tempted to return to that life. If i had no bad crap to still be dealing with...i would not look back with shivers going up my spine.
Every time i am reminded of that crappy life that i lead for too damn long...reminds me of how strong i am to have survived and come out the other end a better person. I KNOW that more positive things will keep happening to me.
Just not today. haha These bad things i am dealing with are by far easier to deal with than the temptation to do that drug again. I am glad that i don't have to deal with that anymore.
Rant and confession time over....for reals this time. ha
I was in hospital, and Tans did me the hugest favour and organised movers to move the big things for me. She did not realise that the fridge was not mine. The moving company and Tans brought the fridge here with all my other big things. It was here when i got home from hospital.
Returning it has been in the too hard basket all this time. I can't lift it, it won't fit in my car, i don't have a tow bar...and returning it would force me to go up to Danny's Dad's house and get my fridge and washing machine, that is apparently there...and i have no way of doing that either. I can't lift them and they won't fit in my car.
I can't afford movers. I need help with this...but right now i have to worry about being in trouble for stealing a fridge! It's almost funny really. I always refused to resort to stealing and ripping people off and now i am in trouble for it anyway.
If i had intentionally stolen it, i would have taken the washing machine and dryer as well. James said hopefully i can just return it. God knows how i will do that but where there is a will there is a way...so they say. It will be one less thing gone from my too hard basket, i suppose. I really need my things back from Danny.
UGH - that was confession time again people. I stole a fridge while i was in hospital. arrrghhhhhhhhhh It's not even a good fridge either. The whole time i was at the apartment it either totally froze things even in the fridge...(frozen lettuce not nice) or ice cubes just remained water.
I do have to admit to not being overly concerned when i got home from hospital and saw it here. That move was so horrible and hard to do on my own and i was so sick. I really did not give a toss at the time.
ugh...
I will have to pay movers to come get it. I live on nothing...everything goes on rent and into the kids stomachs or petrol to drive them back and forth from Howick. I want to go back to work but not until everything is cleared up from that life. I don't want to start a new job and have to ask to take time off to go to court.
uuuuuuuuuugggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh I am so NOT wanting to deal with the Baillies to get my stuff back.
Rant and confession over. As you were.
My God...i so wish i had known how much grief that drug was going to bring my life. I had virtually no contact with the police in my life until this year. Now i can ring them and say " hi it's me" hahahahha
This is sooo not funny. That drug is evil and anyone that touches it, is a total and complete MORON. Everything on my criminal record is from things i said and did while on that stupid f%cking drug.
Makes me so mad..how bad i have f%cked up. I am going to be dealing with my f*ck ups for some time to come, i guess. Part of me wishes that i could turn back time and not have done any of this...but part of me knows that everything i have been through, and every destructive thing i did, has made me a better person than i was before...because i came out the other side with a new appreciation for just how fortunate i really i am to be me.
I know that the crap that i am dealing with now is just God's way of making sure that i NEVER forget how bad it was. It is his way of making sure that i NEVER contemplate going back. He is teaching me a lesson, well and good. And that is ok. I need this lesson to be ingrained into my skull. Every bad thing like this is a blessing really. I would rather have to deal with this crap, than be tempted to return to that life. If i had no bad crap to still be dealing with...i would not look back with shivers going up my spine.
Every time i am reminded of that crappy life that i lead for too damn long...reminds me of how strong i am to have survived and come out the other end a better person. I KNOW that more positive things will keep happening to me.
Just not today. haha These bad things i am dealing with are by far easier to deal with than the temptation to do that drug again. I am glad that i don't have to deal with that anymore.
Rant and confession time over....for reals this time. ha
Is SS trying to tell me something???
I'm working on getting back to beautiful!!!! haha
(we all know that i have personality to spare)
(we all know that i have personality to spare)
WHAT IS UP WITH THIS???
I wake at 1am and 4am EVERY NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
heLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPP
arrrrrGGGGGGGGGGGGhhhhhhhhhhh
(i have been up 45 minutes...that is how long it took me to accept that i was awake, and make coffee)
ughhhhhhhhhhhh
This SUCKS.....
But it could be worse.
I could be a crackho
heLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPP
arrrrrGGGGGGGGGGGGhhhhhhhhhhh
(i have been up 45 minutes...that is how long it took me to accept that i was awake, and make coffee)
ughhhhhhhhhhhh
This SUCKS.....
But it could be worse.
I could be a crackho
September 22, 2009
A sign for a camp ground
In Northern Idaho, near the lake cabin. I found it on a website while i was feeling homesick tonight. I thought it was funny so thought i would share!
Goodnight, sleep tight xoxoxoxo
PS. I fixed my comment button. It was broken. I had wondered why i had not received any abuse in awhile! haha
Goodnight, sleep tight xoxoxoxo
PS. I fixed my comment button. It was broken. I had wondered why i had not received any abuse in awhile! haha
Police chase gunman jailed for 13 years
Minimum non parole period of 8 years. Not nearly long enough.
This man was on a P rampage. He was on a comedown and desperate for money to get more. That drug and the evil that it produces is why a little girl will grow up without a dad. It is so sad. Dan told me about what happened at the time. He even drew me a diagram...it all came down to a fraction of a second. The traffic was stopped on the side of the motorway where the police were (westbound)...it had not been stopped on the north/south bound side at the time of the shooting, although it was backed up...this poor kid, being a courier driver...thought he would get through the traffic that he could see was backing up and sped through an empty lane. He was shot as he drove past the truck that Mcdonald was trying to hijack.
A tenth of a second earlier or later and he would still be here. It makes me sick that this guy only got 8 years. The hideous man had well over one hundred previous convictions! It's mental. At what point do you lock someone up and throw away the key? Well before they have 100 convictions, if you ask me.
I mean Helloooo? It's common sense...lock someone in jail and they either think....holy shit that SUCKED mouldy ass so bad that i am going to behave from now on....or they think...heck that was not so bad, i like it even, i am going to keep being naughty so they send me back there...in which case WHO CARES if they are locked up? No one. Not even them, obviously...or else they would have stopped breaking the bloody law.
This man was on a P rampage. He was on a comedown and desperate for money to get more. That drug and the evil that it produces is why a little girl will grow up without a dad. It is so sad. Dan told me about what happened at the time. He even drew me a diagram...it all came down to a fraction of a second. The traffic was stopped on the side of the motorway where the police were (westbound)...it had not been stopped on the north/south bound side at the time of the shooting, although it was backed up...this poor kid, being a courier driver...thought he would get through the traffic that he could see was backing up and sped through an empty lane. He was shot as he drove past the truck that Mcdonald was trying to hijack.
A tenth of a second earlier or later and he would still be here. It makes me sick that this guy only got 8 years. The hideous man had well over one hundred previous convictions! It's mental. At what point do you lock someone up and throw away the key? Well before they have 100 convictions, if you ask me.
I mean Helloooo? It's common sense...lock someone in jail and they either think....holy shit that SUCKED mouldy ass so bad that i am going to behave from now on....or they think...heck that was not so bad, i like it even, i am going to keep being naughty so they send me back there...in which case WHO CARES if they are locked up? No one. Not even them, obviously...or else they would have stopped breaking the bloody law.
The family of Halatau Naitoko say they no longer blame the police officer who accidently shot the teenager after a 13 year jail term was handed down today.
The man at the centre of a police chase which led to the accidental shooting of an innocent teenager has been sentenced to 13 years jail with a minimum non-parole period of eight years.
Naitoko, 17, was shot dead as police fired to stop gunman Stephen Hohepa McDonald, 50, who had led them on a chase through Auckland to a final confrontation on the North Western motorway on January 23.
McDonald admitted 23 charges including firing at police, possessing a firearm, aggravated robbery, and unlawfully getting into a motor vehicle.
Halatau, a courier driver on his way home, died from a police bullet to his chest after being caught in crossfire as McDonald tried to hijack a truck on the motorway.
Police decided not to lay charges against the officer who fired the fatal shot.
Outside court family spokesman Peter Sykes said the sentencing of McDonald "has focused eight months grief caused by his actions. While many have focused on the police role in Halatau's death, the family can now recognise that Halatau would be alive today if McDonald had made different decisions.
"His actions on the January 23, 2009 have forced a family from a normal life to a life publicly scrutinised and privately painful. Every day there are reminders of what happened and what has been lost.
"Questions are being asked of the family that are not normal, everyday questions. The pain is seen in each of the family and in the relationships placed under pressure. The incident has been unsettling and disturbing for the community as well.
"Without a doubt in our minds, now that we have some information what happen in the seconds which took Halatau's life, McDonald behaviour is responsible for Halatau's death."
Mr Sykes told Radio New Zealand that the family no longer blamed the officer who shot Naitoko and now supported police actions on the day of the chase.
He said Naitoko's mother would like to meet with the officer who shot as part of the healing process, but the family was also keen to move on from the ordeal.
Outside court Mr Sykes said: "On the other side the legacy of Halatau has encouraged Ivoni Fuimaono and Kepu Teputepu to strengthen their business, to strengthen their family relationships and to strengthen their hope and faith that life will continue.
oh my god..
I've been beaten in the game of love.. Just kidding..kind of..not really but lets not worry about that right now. Oh my gosh it's summer out here! It's so beautifull and the breeze is keeping back sweat at bay! I will let you know how many times i have listened to my new favourite song while on my walk when i get home. I never said i was cured of my ocd ha ha ha
I just had a visit from an old friend...
I had not seen him since the week that i quit that drug. The last time i saw him, he had brought pizza to the apartment. The apartment was a complete mess. There was paper and chalk everywhere. That was when i was at my absolute craziest and lowest. This was during the time that i just wanted to die. Well i thought i did...i sent far too many text messages and emails telling people that i was going to kill myself though. I would not have done that, had i really wanted to die. I would have just walked up the road and jumped off the bridge by the Southern Cross Building near Grafton Road, like i had thought about doing so often.
Instead i ended up with repeated visits, in fact everyday for a couple of weeks from the police...because people kept ringing them and telling them that i was suicidal. I even spent the night at the Auckland Central Police Station getting assessed by doctors one night. I think everyone i knew had rung the police at one stage or another back in June/early July. I never wanted to die. I just thought that i was too far gone to ever make it back to some form of being normal ever again. I had given up hope of ever being anything more than a crackho and i knew i could not live that way any longer.
Anyway...the last time i saw this friend my lounge floor was covered in tracing paper and chalk. I had spent the whole weekend with paper and chalk trying to make sense of imprints in Danny's diary and the imprints in my coffee table, or driving around hallucinating. I can remember driving around at night, looking for Danny, and i would constantly look in my rear vision mirror and see someone sitting in the back seat of my car. I would see accidents on the motorway that were not there and slam on my breaks in the middle of spaghetti junction for no reason, street signs always turned into people ...i was crazy the last time i saw him.
He was another person that i had lied to about it. He has never been around it so believed me...but he does say now that in the end he had a feeling i was lying. He said he always stayed friends with me because he could tell that i was a smart and good person. We were just talking about how we ate pizza, then i just crashed out with my head in his lap and he could not even wake me up...the last time he saw me.
I had met him before i ever did that drug...and he witnessed the rapid decline in my life, health, and appearance between December and July. He says to me now that he didn't believe it at first because i had never tried to rip him off or get money out of him like most druggies do.
I never did that to anyone. I guess that was the only low that i never quite reached. I never completely lost my sense of pride. Stealing and ripping people off was something that i had always promised myself i would never do. I was always the one that got ripped off and stolen off.
I preferred that. Still would.
Anyway...He brought Donuts from Baker's Delight...and i shared chocolate chip cookies with him. It was so nice to see him. I could tell he is another person that is so genuinely happy that i am better. He said he was my friend because he knew i was too good for that life.
I am glad that is now something that i know as well.
On that note...I'm seriously hitting the pavement. I have noticed lately that my knickers are starting to leave an imprint in my ass and hips that remains, long after i take them off! hahahhahahaha
Instead i ended up with repeated visits, in fact everyday for a couple of weeks from the police...because people kept ringing them and telling them that i was suicidal. I even spent the night at the Auckland Central Police Station getting assessed by doctors one night. I think everyone i knew had rung the police at one stage or another back in June/early July. I never wanted to die. I just thought that i was too far gone to ever make it back to some form of being normal ever again. I had given up hope of ever being anything more than a crackho and i knew i could not live that way any longer.
Anyway...the last time i saw this friend my lounge floor was covered in tracing paper and chalk. I had spent the whole weekend with paper and chalk trying to make sense of imprints in Danny's diary and the imprints in my coffee table, or driving around hallucinating. I can remember driving around at night, looking for Danny, and i would constantly look in my rear vision mirror and see someone sitting in the back seat of my car. I would see accidents on the motorway that were not there and slam on my breaks in the middle of spaghetti junction for no reason, street signs always turned into people ...i was crazy the last time i saw him.
He was another person that i had lied to about it. He has never been around it so believed me...but he does say now that in the end he had a feeling i was lying. He said he always stayed friends with me because he could tell that i was a smart and good person. We were just talking about how we ate pizza, then i just crashed out with my head in his lap and he could not even wake me up...the last time he saw me.
I had met him before i ever did that drug...and he witnessed the rapid decline in my life, health, and appearance between December and July. He says to me now that he didn't believe it at first because i had never tried to rip him off or get money out of him like most druggies do.
I never did that to anyone. I guess that was the only low that i never quite reached. I never completely lost my sense of pride. Stealing and ripping people off was something that i had always promised myself i would never do. I was always the one that got ripped off and stolen off.
I preferred that. Still would.
Anyway...He brought Donuts from Baker's Delight...and i shared chocolate chip cookies with him. It was so nice to see him. I could tell he is another person that is so genuinely happy that i am better. He said he was my friend because he knew i was too good for that life.
I am glad that is now something that i know as well.
On that note...I'm seriously hitting the pavement. I have noticed lately that my knickers are starting to leave an imprint in my ass and hips that remains, long after i take them off! hahahhahahaha
Just say no to knicker imprints on asses.
Millie resigned to possible prison term
The estranged daughter of broadcaster Paul Holmes appeared alone in court as her father was preparing to farewell her grandmother in Hastings.
In my opinion - there is no way that she has quit that drug.
It can't be done unless you totally remove yourself and cut off all contact with anything that is associated with it. She still lives with the head hunters.
What a complete waste of such a beautiful young girl, who had everything going for her.
Still could have everything going for her.
Millie Elder's adoptive father told mourners of their Millie's close relationship with his mother, Chrissie Hobson.
Elder was making her first appearance at Waitakere District Court on a charge of driving while suspended. She was bailed to reappear later this month.
Wearing jeans and sporting a fresh tattooed heart on her middle finger, the former model said she was a totally different person from the woman she was two years ago.
On the dole and proud, she said she had found true love and happiness with her live-in partner Connor Morris, a kickboxer and son of patched Head Hunter Chris Morris.
Elder, who has had a very public battle with P, claimed she was drug-free.
She said she was "pissed off" by her father's scathing comments about the Head Hunters on his TV documentary Chasing The Ghost, which highlighted the P issue through the lives of people destroyed by the drug.
Millie keeps in touch with her mother Hinemoa Elder and her brother Reuben but has not spoken to or seen her father for months. The last contact came when she received a bunch of flowers from him for her 21st birthday, four months ago.
Elder is facing a raft of drug and bail breach charges, and admitted getting confused which court dates were for which allegations.
But she was realistic about her situation - and the possibility of a prison sentence.
"If it happens, it happens, I will just deal with it. There's not much I can do about it."
Holmes told his mother's funeral service that he hoped his daughter would one day recognise how much she was loved by her nana.
One mourner said it was the most poignant point in an "absolutely beautiful eulogy".
Holmes said his mother was ready to go, and had left instructions for the service, which was held at a funeral home and followed by a function at her bowling club in Hastings.
This weekend, Holmes said: "I'm so sad Millie wasn't at the funeral. And I'm so sad Millie was back in court. I knew where I had to be.
"If Millie's drug-free, I'm happy. If Millie finds it possible to defend the Head Hunters, I'm disappointed. She wasn't brought up for Head Hunters."
In my opinion - there is no way that she has quit that drug.
It can't be done unless you totally remove yourself and cut off all contact with anything that is associated with it. She still lives with the head hunters.
What a complete waste of such a beautiful young girl, who had everything going for her.
Still could have everything going for her.
I love this one
September 21, 2009
On a more serious note...
How many times does a person have to lie to you, before you realise that they are a liar and can't be trusted?
Don't worry class...i took a long time to figure this one out as well. Take all the time you need. Please write your answer on your exam paper and leave it on my desk at the end of class.
No cheating please.
*School bell rings*
Right...the answer class is ...2.54587 times . That is how many times a person can lie to you before you realise that they are a liar and cannot be trusted.
To ellaborate, I will add...People project their shortfalls on to other people.
Example...
Liars, think everyone else is lying - this is why she does not believe that DK and i are just friends
Cheaters, think that they are always being cheated on and never trust their partners - this is why she does not believe that DK and i are not and have never...had sexual relations
Thieves, think everyone else also steal - that one does not really apply here...that i am aware of anyway.
I am a bit sad this afternoon because my friend that i have known for years and that has helped me a TON these past few months and I, are going our separate ways due to our inability to agree on anything relating to the affair that he is having.
He has shown me email after email of her lying to him, yelling at him, trying to control and manipulate him, then does not understand when i think he is making a terrible mistake, regardless of the fact that he has a wife and children.
I have asked nicely that he not compare the two of us, but he seemed to think the comparison was funny. He fails to realise that my whole opinion of her is based solely on what he has told me.
Anyway DK...i will miss you and will always be your friend. I am here if you ever need me but i cannot condone nor can i sit back and not speak my mind when i see a friend heading towards a downward spiral. Those spirals are no fun...trust me on that one. That ride is damn hard to get off of as well.
Imagine if you had to sit and watch me let my life go back to what it was and I did not listen to any of your advice, even though i knew you were right? It would be hard for you.
Take care buddy...you know i am always here if/when you need me.
PS...the below post was a wind up...she reads this apparently looking for clues that will tell her that DK and i are having sex. phhhttt...he is totally not my type...I like 29 year old cops haha
Don't worry class...i took a long time to figure this one out as well. Take all the time you need. Please write your answer on your exam paper and leave it on my desk at the end of class.
No cheating please.
*School bell rings*
Right...the answer class is ...2.54587 times . That is how many times a person can lie to you before you realise that they are a liar and cannot be trusted.
To ellaborate, I will add...People project their shortfalls on to other people.
Example...
Liars, think everyone else is lying - this is why she does not believe that DK and i are just friends
Cheaters, think that they are always being cheated on and never trust their partners - this is why she does not believe that DK and i are not and have never...had sexual relations
Thieves, think everyone else also steal - that one does not really apply here...that i am aware of anyway.
I am a bit sad this afternoon because my friend that i have known for years and that has helped me a TON these past few months and I, are going our separate ways due to our inability to agree on anything relating to the affair that he is having.
He has shown me email after email of her lying to him, yelling at him, trying to control and manipulate him, then does not understand when i think he is making a terrible mistake, regardless of the fact that he has a wife and children.
I have asked nicely that he not compare the two of us, but he seemed to think the comparison was funny. He fails to realise that my whole opinion of her is based solely on what he has told me.
Anyway DK...i will miss you and will always be your friend. I am here if you ever need me but i cannot condone nor can i sit back and not speak my mind when i see a friend heading towards a downward spiral. Those spirals are no fun...trust me on that one. That ride is damn hard to get off of as well.
Imagine if you had to sit and watch me let my life go back to what it was and I did not listen to any of your advice, even though i knew you were right? It would be hard for you.
Take care buddy...you know i am always here if/when you need me.
PS...the below post was a wind up...she reads this apparently looking for clues that will tell her that DK and i are having sex. phhhttt...he is totally not my type...I like 29 year old cops haha
The best things in life...
Thank you SS
I have decided to start a support group for all of us people, that are pissed off that DK gets laid more than we do. Please email me in strict confidence to express your interest. Alternatively, you can comment below, if you don't give a toss who knows that a middle aged married man gets more sex than you. Free sex too....
W T F....MANNNNNNNNNN
Without fail...
1am and 4am...AGAIN. This is so weird.
Maybe something happened to me in a past life at those times...
Nah...i don't believe in past lives...They must have changed the witching hour or some shit on me. haha
Ugh...right now i wish i still had all those sleeping pills that dodgy doctor that i met gave me.
I don't...really....but this is highly annoying because no doubt i will drop the girls at school...get back home at 9ish and want to spend my day snoozing in my bed.
Ugh...Good morning anyway! I can't tell what kind of day it is going to be because it's still black outside and i am sitting in my lounge with the lights on. My home looks like the neighbourhood crack house with the lights on. On that note....i'm going back to bed even if i just lie there awake.
x
From my sister -
Maybe something happened to me in a past life at those times...
Nah...i don't believe in past lives...They must have changed the witching hour or some shit on me. haha
Ugh...right now i wish i still had all those sleeping pills that dodgy doctor that i met gave me.
I don't...really....but this is highly annoying because no doubt i will drop the girls at school...get back home at 9ish and want to spend my day snoozing in my bed.
Ugh...Good morning anyway! I can't tell what kind of day it is going to be because it's still black outside and i am sitting in my lounge with the lights on. My home looks like the neighbourhood crack house with the lights on. On that note....i'm going back to bed even if i just lie there awake.
x
From my sister -
I love the photo collage you posted of us as kids. I especially love the pic of you and I on the boat at the lake. We're so happy! I love the lake cabin, good memories. I'm going to be addicted to this now, seeing what you're up to and what cartoon you'll have posted. Love the pancake!
Love you and miss you.....have a beautiful day (you deserve it)!
ps you had THE BEST mushroom cut out of all of the mushroom cuts out there. Just so you know.....
September 20, 2009
I'm worn out
This weekend has been so busy and so full on doing absolutely nothing...i am exhausted.
Having three teenage girls in this little home of mine is a nightmare...a good one, but a nightmare never the less. ha The PMTer seems to have recovered from her tension today though, and has been a joy to have around, when she is not belching or calling someone a "douche" OMG where do kids hear these words these days???? and she knew what it meant too! I have knocked it out of her though...i heard her say it just before and tried to correct herself - back the big mouth up fast before i could tell her off. OMG she just did it again and stopped herself half way through the word. Now we are all just doos.
I spent last night and this morning, not being able to walk in my lounge because Jorgia and her friend Melissa had mattresses spread out all over the floor and were blobbing out watching movies from my 80's collection...Molly Ringwald totally proves that my mushroom hairstyle was all the rage back then haha. They hogged my laptop most of the day after asking if they could download a "few" songs for their ipods...116 songs and 7 hours later, i got my laptop back.
I had to make sure my place was spic and span because the landlord was popping in at 2:30 because we had still not signed off all the bond forms and stuff. I have fantastic landlords.
Now i have gotten all my laundry nearly dry, i have fed and watered the girls, baked more cookies, done the dishes, made lunches for tomorrow, had a bath, put on my nanna nightie, repo'd my laptop, and climbed into bed. Oh ...and i ignored a text from Dan the policeman cause i have not heard from him since Friday. He sucks and gets the silent treatment AT LEAST until i am reminded that my prime will not last forever, and there are middle aged married men out there that get more action than i do.
Goodnight xooxoxxoxoxoxo
I LOVE this song
It's been forever since i LOVED a song the first time i heard it. Gin Wigmore is awesome. I LOVE HER...this song makes me so happy for some odd reason.
I love my little sister sooooo much
I am still having issues with my sleep patterns. I have managed to not sleep for 23 hours a day the last few days, as opposed to earlier in the week, but i usually wake up in the middle of the night. I seem to wake about 1am. I will put another doco on the laptop and fall back asleep...then i wake again about 4. This morning when i woke at 4am, my sister was sending me private messages. Maybe it is the little noise that those make that woke me up.
Anyway i got up, made a coffee and had a smoke while we talked for a little while until my eyes got heavy again. She had been a bit worried about me because she had tried to ring me for the past week to say happy birthday and i had not answered. My landline has not rung once. She ended up having the wrong number...so that was all good. I guess when i go quiet, without explanation now...like i pretty much had for the past two years...she worries. That is what family do.
I love my sister. I guess she went and read my blog while i was snoozing some more. I just woke up to this wonderful email from her. It made me feel really good to read it. It is words of encouragement like this...that i get every day from friends and people that love me, that keeps me going. These people and their kind words and their encouragement are what keep me strong, when i feel like crying. Every day without Danny, is still a struggle for me. I still love him. I am lucky to have friends and family that help me through the times that i struggle. When i was on drugs, i ran and hid from anyone and everyone that cared about me....because i was so ashamed.
My sister would ring me or email me and i never answered if i saw her number and i never read her emails because i was scared that she knew what my life had become. I was so damn ashamed.
I will never be ashamed again. Knowing that, along with my friends and family...makes every day better than the last one.
I have more emails to read and reply to...back laterrrrrrrrrrr
Positivity like this, always stops my tears. Thank you xoxoxox
Anyway i got up, made a coffee and had a smoke while we talked for a little while until my eyes got heavy again. She had been a bit worried about me because she had tried to ring me for the past week to say happy birthday and i had not answered. My landline has not rung once. She ended up having the wrong number...so that was all good. I guess when i go quiet, without explanation now...like i pretty much had for the past two years...she worries. That is what family do.
I love my sister. I guess she went and read my blog while i was snoozing some more. I just woke up to this wonderful email from her. It made me feel really good to read it. It is words of encouragement like this...that i get every day from friends and people that love me, that keeps me going. These people and their kind words and their encouragement are what keep me strong, when i feel like crying. Every day without Danny, is still a struggle for me. I still love him. I am lucky to have friends and family that help me through the times that i struggle. When i was on drugs, i ran and hid from anyone and everyone that cared about me....because i was so ashamed.
My sister would ring me or email me and i never answered if i saw her number and i never read her emails because i was scared that she knew what my life had become. I was so damn ashamed.
I will never be ashamed again. Knowing that, along with my friends and family...makes every day better than the last one.
Your blog is incredible! I am so proud to be your sister.I love my little sister so much. It feels so good to be in almost daily contact with her again.
Funny cartoons too. Where on earth do you find those??
You should write a book and tell your story, from when you were little to now. Something similar to your blog. It would truly be so motivational and would touch millions of lives. Not many people come as far as you have. You could be a motivational speaker as well. You could be many good things.
You're a talented writer. I can't wait to read more.
Love you!
Tracey poo
I have more emails to read and reply to...back laterrrrrrrrrrr
I just read this from Janette in my inbox.
You go girl and be proud and I agree with your sister.
Positivity like this, always stops my tears. Thank you xoxoxox
September 19, 2009
I have been so busy today, accomplishing absolutely nothing
I am not sure where today went. All i know is that i have not stopped long enough today, to post in here more than once. I don't think that has ever happened since...a long time ago.
Don't ask me what i have achieved though. I have kept the noise level down low enough to JUST ensure that i have no broken windows. I can't recall ever being as noisy as my girls are, when i was that age. I spent a fair bit of time hanging laundry on the clothes horse over the heater, in the hope they will get dry without dripping all over the heater and electrocuting one of us. I guess at some stage i need to look at at least getting my washing machine back. I feel like Laura Ingles without a washing machine.
I hopped on here a couple times and replied to emails. One was from someone unexpected and i nearly did not read it. Seeing the name in my in box made my heart pound and i was scared that if i read the email, it would upset me and set me back. I have never before, read anything that this person has sent me purely because i have been scared of what i will read. I have been scared of how much anything that this person has to say to me will hurt or upset me.
I read this one though. I don't know why, but it ended up being a genuine and well intentioned email and i am glad i read it. It gave me the opportunity to apologise, again for horrible, crazy things that i did while i was taking drugs and leading such a destructive life. Things that i don't even remember doing, i have had to apologise for. I don't really deserve this person's good intentions towards me.
Every day, i am shown, over and over, how much good there are in people out there. Even people that i have never met. The whole time i was smoking P...everyone seemed so damn evil. Now it is the opposite. I would say the reason for everyone that i met seeming so evil would be a mixture of the paranoia that goes along with that drug...and the fact that, P produces evil people. Like i have said before...there are no nice crackheads and crackheads do not have friends.
Now i see only the good in people. I think people see the good in me too. For so long i saw only the bad in everyone....even myself.
I'm off now, to work out if i accomplished anything else today. My brain hurts from thinking too hard at the moment because i don't think i did.
Goodnight x
Don't ask me what i have achieved though. I have kept the noise level down low enough to JUST ensure that i have no broken windows. I can't recall ever being as noisy as my girls are, when i was that age. I spent a fair bit of time hanging laundry on the clothes horse over the heater, in the hope they will get dry without dripping all over the heater and electrocuting one of us. I guess at some stage i need to look at at least getting my washing machine back. I feel like Laura Ingles without a washing machine.
I hopped on here a couple times and replied to emails. One was from someone unexpected and i nearly did not read it. Seeing the name in my in box made my heart pound and i was scared that if i read the email, it would upset me and set me back. I have never before, read anything that this person has sent me purely because i have been scared of what i will read. I have been scared of how much anything that this person has to say to me will hurt or upset me.
I read this one though. I don't know why, but it ended up being a genuine and well intentioned email and i am glad i read it. It gave me the opportunity to apologise, again for horrible, crazy things that i did while i was taking drugs and leading such a destructive life. Things that i don't even remember doing, i have had to apologise for. I don't really deserve this person's good intentions towards me.
Every day, i am shown, over and over, how much good there are in people out there. Even people that i have never met. The whole time i was smoking P...everyone seemed so damn evil. Now it is the opposite. I would say the reason for everyone that i met seeming so evil would be a mixture of the paranoia that goes along with that drug...and the fact that, P produces evil people. Like i have said before...there are no nice crackheads and crackheads do not have friends.
Now i see only the good in people. I think people see the good in me too. For so long i saw only the bad in everyone....even myself.
I'm off now, to work out if i accomplished anything else today. My brain hurts from thinking too hard at the moment because i don't think i did.
Goodnight x











































